Laughing Myself Silly

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I've been fuming for a week. I'm not bothered by someone not wanting my mail coming to their house but I am absolutely enraged at the audacity of someone to A)*open my mail when again - IT'S A FELONY. And *B)have further audacity to take the stance that my mail is somehow diminishing to their character. Key words here: MY MAIL. It's no secrect she is from a brach of the family tree know for more ego than go go but still, it is, in my opinion, inexcusable. Wrap it up in that "lightening's going to strike Christian cloak" and it's even more so.

So anyway, I've really been fuming and then last night I actually got around to opening the offense. Yes, I damn sure did go get it. She had it parked nicely on her front porch so I wouldn't ring the bell. Coward. Form letter. Nothing but a form letter. Delicately opened and conspicuously taped up. Along with it was a red wrapped envelope from Netflix also in my name. Yes, I signed up for a free trial subscription with the hopeful intent of having 90 minutes or so the squeeze in a "watch instantly"movie on my new computer. Netflix automatically sends you out one DVD even if you're only going to use the "watch instantly" aspect of their service. It would be far from practical for me to drive 30 miles each way to pick up a DVD at her house every few days.

So far it's been three weeks and I haven't had a spare five minutes much less a hour-and-a-half for a film until last night when I just caved from the workload. I crashed on my bed at Robin's house with my kitties, AppleJack and CornBread and we settled in for a show. I pulled the Netflix envelope from my bag only to instantly find it had also been opened, placed back in the mailing envelope to re-send to the company, torn open again, and taped all over with clear celophane tape. REALLY!!!!????????&%$#@!&*&! OMG! I was just furious all over again. Not that I would give a damn if they wanted to watch my rented movie but OH GOOD GAWD!!?? What a pig after everything else. The DVD is already in and starting to play as all of this is unfolding in my head........


......AND THEN I LAUGH LIKE I HAVEN'T LAUGHED IN A VERY LONG TIME....................

The first movie in my queue was "Away We Go". All I knew about it was Sam Mendes, whom I am a big fan of, directed it and it looked like a quirky little road trip of a film centering around a couple about to have a baby and their quest to find a place to live an raise it. HERE'S THE GIGGLE...........the first five minutes of the film is a comic scene involving the guy giving the gal oral sex and discussing how she "tastes different. not bad. just different." Hence the discover she is pregnant.

Moral of this story: If you're hyper-sensetive to reality don't go snooping around in other people mail.

Now all I can think of is too bad I didn't know all of this was going to unfold before it did. I could have ordered "Sleeping Dogs Lie" instead. Even I couldn't sit through the first five minutes of that one.