Thursday, September 06, 2012

A True Story.....











OMG..FREAKIN...GAWD!!!!...........Simple little trip in the grocery store. 4 items. Bonnie drops me at the front door and waits. Middle of the day. No customers. 2 cashiers each with one customer with an equally large amount of stuff. Both cashier appear competent and moving so it appears to be a toss up. I went left............So I'm waiting patiently (we all know I don't have surplus of t
hat) and thumbing through bridal magazines (pointless but pretty) while I wait. Cashier on the right is making more progress but now she has a line - nobody behind me so I wait. ............I see this coming but at this point I'm annoyed and I figure she's got it coming so I just watch it all unfold. It's one of those Food Lion conveyor belts that has a triagle at the cashiers ends to shove stuff toward them so they don't have to reach. It's styrofoam carton of 24 jumbo eggs followed by a dozen 3 liter bottles of pop. I wait. I watch. I hear the roaring screeching moan as the carton begins to be crushed but cashier notices nothing so I say nothing. Pretty soon she reaches for the grapes and her hand comes up with a bunch of egg goo all over it. She thinks it's the grapes. Conveyor belt is still moving. Then follows a tidal wave of egg goo spilling through the produce and over the scanner. "Oh!" she exclaims as she begins to try to lift the lid of the now accordian folded egg carton, "I might have cracked a couple of those". I say nothing but I"m thinking to myself, "hmmm....ya think?"..............She decides to go ahead and scan them in order to be more efficient (meanwhile cashier on the right had checked out 6 customers), and she proceeds to try to mop the mess into her floor with her hand so that it will be less noticeable. OKAY??? Well, that's a choice...............she proceeds, scans all the pop, egg goo running and crusting as she works and then here it comes........................screeeeech.......pop............another 24 carton of eggs crushed all over the conveyor belt again but now the gooey mess from the former carton is circling back around the the back side of the conveyor belt.....................I'm losing it but I'm trying to remain cool and burst out in either laughter or fits of furious "you fucking imcompetent nut job!!"..........Didn't utter a sound. Just moved right over to the cashier on the right (who has now completed checking out the nearly dozen customers previously in her line. She (cashier on right) brushes her nose just barely with her hand. I wouldn't have even noticed it if she hadn't said, "OMG!!! At least I didn't pick it. I have this horrrible habit of picking my nose in weather like this. It's hard. You try not to do it so people won't notice but then it just happens. I didn't pick it, did I?"

I wish I were kidding but this is a true story.

1 comment:

  1. LOL! This is wild, just wild. You're a gifted writer, Ang. xo