A Plug for My Bonnie Mommie's new Avon Store...

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Order online and she will drop ship anywhere. Right now they're offering FREE SHIPPING on orders of $30 or more. Not bad timing for holiday shopping.

Click here to visit her store

Laughing Myself Silly

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I've been fuming for a week. I'm not bothered by someone not wanting my mail coming to their house but I am absolutely enraged at the audacity of someone to A)*open my mail when again - IT'S A FELONY. And *B)have further audacity to take the stance that my mail is somehow diminishing to their character. Key words here: MY MAIL. It's no secrect she is from a brach of the family tree know for more ego than go go but still, it is, in my opinion, inexcusable. Wrap it up in that "lightening's going to strike Christian cloak" and it's even more so.

So anyway, I've really been fuming and then last night I actually got around to opening the offense. Yes, I damn sure did go get it. She had it parked nicely on her front porch so I wouldn't ring the bell. Coward. Form letter. Nothing but a form letter. Delicately opened and conspicuously taped up. Along with it was a red wrapped envelope from Netflix also in my name. Yes, I signed up for a free trial subscription with the hopeful intent of having 90 minutes or so the squeeze in a "watch instantly"movie on my new computer. Netflix automatically sends you out one DVD even if you're only going to use the "watch instantly" aspect of their service. It would be far from practical for me to drive 30 miles each way to pick up a DVD at her house every few days.

So far it's been three weeks and I haven't had a spare five minutes much less a hour-and-a-half for a film until last night when I just caved from the workload. I crashed on my bed at Robin's house with my kitties, AppleJack and CornBread and we settled in for a show. I pulled the Netflix envelope from my bag only to instantly find it had also been opened, placed back in the mailing envelope to re-send to the company, torn open again, and taped all over with clear celophane tape. REALLY!!!!????????&%$#@!&*&! OMG! I was just furious all over again. Not that I would give a damn if they wanted to watch my rented movie but OH GOOD GAWD!!?? What a pig after everything else. The DVD is already in and starting to play as all of this is unfolding in my head........


......AND THEN I LAUGH LIKE I HAVEN'T LAUGHED IN A VERY LONG TIME....................

The first movie in my queue was "Away We Go". All I knew about it was Sam Mendes, whom I am a big fan of, directed it and it looked like a quirky little road trip of a film centering around a couple about to have a baby and their quest to find a place to live an raise it. HERE'S THE GIGGLE...........the first five minutes of the film is a comic scene involving the guy giving the gal oral sex and discussing how she "tastes different. not bad. just different." Hence the discover she is pregnant.

Moral of this story: If you're hyper-sensetive to reality don't go snooping around in other people mail.

Now all I can think of is too bad I didn't know all of this was going to unfold before it did. I could have ordered "Sleeping Dogs Lie" instead. Even I couldn't sit through the first five minutes of that one.

OMG! People Can Be Just Utterly Exasperating.....

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So last year wound down with the crazy neighbor in Tennessee that that broke her lease. As her excuse she told the landlord that, "her boyfriend can't screw her because we work too much and the scissor sounds are distracting to him." I didn't really think I could top that one this year and then low and behold here come the cousins.


Fun Fact: If some people were to spend half as much energy becoming the people they are pretending to be then they would have twice as much opportunity of actually being the person they want other people to think they are.

There are reasons that people like me take off for years at a whack and never look back; have nothing to do with our families, and find solace and comfort among far away places and new found friends.

It's no secret I'm broke right? I'm not hiding from anyone. I Googled me today to be sure and I found 6,150 web results and nearly 200 photo results all with a direct link to me. That was in just one quick, 3 second, search. Dig a little deeper and the numbers increase ten fold or more.

So I'm working at one of my six, yes SIX, jobs yesterday when I get a phone call from ***. "Angie, are you working right now?".

That's not my name but I didn't condescend her by correcting her. "yes." It's a redundant question. I have six jobs. If I'm breathing I'm working.

"Well, can you talk?"

"Um....????" Obviously something covert but the only thing I can think of is she may be reporting on a relative that's been in ICU going on two weeks. "Ummm....?????"


"Well, the thing is I have to talk to you when you can talk." (???)

I assess that I'm sitting in an office with my new boss two feet away. "Well, can we talk tonight?"

"No, I'm going to the hospital. I have to talk to you."

Must be of some urgency. "Okay, talk...." (still ????)

"The thing is, we received a letter at our address"...... (addressed to me not her or her family...... and how they got her address is as much a mystery to me at first as to anyone but it's not really the point)......."....from an attorney about a judgement you have from Ford."

It's not really a news flash and I know she didn't miss the memo that the Ford Explorer Sport Trac I had was reposessed three years ago when I had an accident and broke both arms and one leg all at one time. Rebroke one arm in the process of healing and was ultimately out of commission for about 5 months. Unfortunately, at the same time, Bonnie (my mother) had taken a commission only job with some shady, bogus mortgage company that skipped town and didn't pay her. It was the beginning of the economic downslide in California and the beginning of our own financial downslide as well. Not a news flash though. It's a well known, well discussed fact.


She continues....."the thing is, I'm going to have to ask you in a NICE NICE WAY to....."......well just cut to the chase F*** off." My words not hers. Apparently a stray piece of mail that she felt she had the Holy Roller right to open even thought it is a Federal Offense, has caused her insurmountable social damage because, I dunno, the mail man gossips with her neighbors - ???? She is one of those people that parades around sub-quoting Jesus and professing to be a Christian holy rollers with a closet so full of skeletons that it would shatter the rafters in Hell. Lives in too big of a house to afford to furnish and to combat the embarrassment of the vacant interior stands smugly at the front door, too snooty to invite anyone in. When in fact she's living in her own inadequate shame. Not my opinion of her but my assessment of her own opinion of herself.

Of course, she's calling me at work knowing that I'm at work and knowing that I can't respond. So instead, I fume for the next seven hours and still even today. Christian as she may profess to be, if Jesus met her no doubt he would be utterly ashamed. I know I am.

And how did they get her address? Mystery solved. I had ordered a computer and asked her if I could have it sent to her house so I would know for certain that someone was able to sign for it. She graciously agreed. I paid for it with PayPal and they report to credit agencies. PayPal has my address at Robin's too + all of my bank information - not hiding from them either.

And no, dear cousin, I'm not trying to use your address so that anyone I owe will come take your precious shell of a house to pay for my debts. It's not even a remote possibility that if I were really so shallow or conniving they ever would.

She ends her episode with: "Now I didn't tell your dad any of this.".....

Seriously? I'm 39 years old. SERIOUSLY? But OMG!!!.... I know he didn't miss the memo either. Never mind that though, by the time I got off work she had apparently spent a good deal of time ranting at my dad about this. So much so that he claims to have held the phone 3 feet from his ear until he heard her quit speaking. WOW!!??..........instead of, ummm......well, here's a thought, telling her to mind her own business.

...*and if you've been following this blog....the GOOD HAPPY NEWS is the previous post. Please read. I'm movin' on!!!.......*****

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WOW!! What a Difference 6 Weeks Makes! No More Mile High Mud Pie for Now

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It was about six weeks ago that I wrote the last post. WOW! What a difference six weeks makes.....and what a relief!

Applebee's....God bless them! It's not the first time I've worked for the chain, and as little comfort as $2.13 hour (*waitress minimum wage) + tips is, thank Heavens for it and for that particular restaurant chain. They've saved my hide on a couple of occasions. I hope I've been an asset to them as well. Certainly I have tried to be.

When I finally caved and asked for the job with them I had been put through the ringer with a prominent accounting staffing agency in town. Great resume, great test scores.......shabby wardrobe. I must admit, they had me on that one. This was probably the first time in about 25 years that I had found myself without the basics of a waitressing wardrobe hanging in the recesses of my clost - "just in case". Of course, this time, the closet would have been some damp, leaking corner of the trunk of my car. It was a tough first three weeks. Every time going to buying the wardrobe basics plus enough Fancy Feast for my two spoiled rotten kitties. Me, I've been living on cheese and bread. I wonder sometimes at the places I cut corners but sometimes there's no place else.

Finally I scoured up enough computer time to run an ad on Craigslist with my resume for bookkeeping and put together a little web site for the same. I had more calls than I knew what to do with and right now I'm very happily and exhaustively juggling 6 bookkeeping jobs. I managed to scrape up enough money to buy a laptop and accounting software to keep working, and a few things for a home of my own that I hope to have very soon.

I also squeezed in enough computer time to send out hundreds of emails to previous customers from our knitting and crochet pattern sales and with much help and generosity, I have been able to reassemble nearly all of the 126 copyrighted patterns that I thought had been forever lost. I've been trying to email everyone back individually but please have patience with me if I haven't gotten to everyone yet. I just got my own computer last week and I know I've inevitably missed a few people. To thank everyone that helped in responding with patterns, I am going to be mailing out a complete pattern collection CD/ROM to everyone that was kind enough to respond. It may be January though before I get it done so please be patient with me. I am slow but I do eventually always get there. When I moved to California it took me 6 months to get there from Nebraska, 25-bucking my way across the USA with a carload of crafts. I did finally get there though. But that's another story.

If you're looking to buy patterns on Etsy it may still be a while. I owe them around $800 but I'm working on that too. Yes I am. In the meantime, you can email me if you're looking for anything or they are also available in My DaWanda Store.





WHEW.......what a difference six weeks makes.

And a little plug for my Bonnie Mommie's new Avon store. If you buy online they will drop ship anywhere. If you buy locally in New Mexico she may just deliver it herself.

Something like a fire...

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It's something like a fire. If you've ever had one, it's a total loss. A few years ago my friend called me - her neighbors house had burned but she was new in town and didn't really know them. "What do they need?" She asked me because our house had burned when I was 19. I had been there. I would know.

"Not what you would probably think", I said. Clean white t-shirts, a package of new socks, tennis shoes, tennis shoes, food that doesn't have to be cooked, refrigerated, or prepared with utensils they no longer have. Utensils. Comb, brush, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, soap. A hug."

"You're right. I wouldn't have thought of any of that."

"I know." But I didn't know before it happened to me.

So even if this last episode wasn't exactly a fire, it was something like a fire. Catastrophic. A total loss. I had the experience of a fire - the experience of several other "like a fire's". And picking up the pieces I go. A package of clean white t-shirts, a package of socks, five pair of pajama pants on clearance for $3.00 each. It doesn't matter what it looks like, it only matters that it's functional. Hand me down shoes from that same friend with whom I had had the conversation years before......a well constructed resume....an interview with a job agency......an opportunity.....an email: "Please dress nice. You looked a little shabby when you came into our office but you're well qualified." Shabby indeed. A different job. First two pair of black pants and black shirts, non-slip black work shoes, black socks. Then five. It will take some time to fix shabby but still very qualified.

I didn't leave my mother with her suitcase, on the side of the road, with no money, in New Mexico where she knows no one. But I left. I didn't drive her there intentionally. She asked to go but not to be left. I wanted out. Out of this endless cycle of falling apart and then picking up the pieces again and again. Out of 1945. Just out. On my own.

I have lived in more cities and states than I can count. A blessing of a life in many ways but I have no roots. My extended family doesn't know me. Doesn't want to with divorce involved. People I went to school with don't remember me. Or if they do it's only a polite, vague memory. A select few know me and know me well. A friend of grade school with whom I spent every divorced weekend until her family moved away and we became pen pals. A former flame or two. They know me very well.

We were in one of those occasional black holes in life. Swirling aimlessly in an abyss with no light and no direction. One must find gravity to find direction.



My mother doesn't like her roots but she does have them. I don't like her roots either. But they are roots, of a sort. Driving down Main Street in this tiny little town we don't pass a single building that she doesn't know the owners, the workers, the managers. Not only does she know them by name. She went to school with them. Church with them. Babysat their children. Was an attendant in their wedding service. Taught them Sunday school. It was once her bliss. They knew her. She knew them.

When you leave a place with a certain feeling of anger, you want only to go back when you are on top of the world. But when you are on top of the world, you never want to go back. It matters less from above. I understand that. I feel that too. Sometimes God has other plans.


Some say the first chakra is fire. It is red. It is angry. It evokes action. It evokes change.

Mile High Mud Pie and Me

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Have you ever had a moment that you just felt your world was hurling upside down at earth shattering speed? I've had lots of them। Maybe not "lots". Maybe just a quality of such moments that supersedes quantity. I think many of us are in a similar state these days. And if you're not one of us then maybe you're just missing the party. Afterall, life seems to be more radiantly lived in the drowning, falling, sucking moments of enraged gravity. More so than in the mellow, bright snippets of assumed bliss.


Without ranting details - because without the perspective of more time it will come out of me more like a sob story that a victorious life adventure. I prefer victorious life adventures. But alas, I have been silent too long and must divulge some things to the curious among us.

Leaving our life in California was a financial and practical necessity. In case you haven't heard, the state is broke, possibly beyond repair. The economy is the one thing less stable than the earth in California. Tennessee was a regrettable mistake. Details at this point though would involve a long string of senseless curse words. Suffice it to say, it's a lovely place to visit. Living there sucks! So now I'm in Dallas - living among friends and bit by bit piecing back together the bits of a formerly fabulously lived life. If you happen by the Applebee's Restaurant at Stonebriar Mall in Frisco, stop in and ask for my section. I'm very happily waiting tables there for the time being.

Sometimes we need to return to our roots. Often times we have no idea why. When I was a little girl my grandmother used to take me to "The Twin Cronnie Drive Inn" in her home town where old fashioned carhops in roller skates would bring me unheard of ice cream drinks and onion rings served on trays that hung from her car window. It was my dream job!!! And when I was 15 I went straight there and signed on for a job. They had a chain of command and you had to work your way up to being a car hop starting at the back door and washing dishes.

I was promptly fired up the ladder day by day. The first day I washed dishes they had to rewash every one of them the following morning. Fired to onion slicer. My mother called and threatened to sue them if I sliced a finger off. Fired into promotion before I ever started that job. All the way up the ladder to fry cook where I, being vegetarian, served 22 blood raw hamburgers to a construction crew. Fired up to soda jerk. I was actually really good at that but by then a car hop didn't show up for her shift one day and I was "IN"! Happiest kid in town. It was my high school job and I absolutely, utterly LOVED it!

From there I went, briefly, to a mexican food restaurant with less success. The hot, melted cheese on the plates got in the way of my big 80's hair. Cheese just wasn't a good look for me.


Then came the art thing, and well, I took a break from waiting tables for quite a while. My last waitressing job was also at an Applebee's in Omaha, NE which ultimately led me to the restaurant I am currently working in. Then came the knit thing and my other incarnation as a full charge bookkeeper.Then gawd aweful Tennessee and now, Applebee's again at Stonebriar Mall - Dallas (Frisco), TX।

I am an exceptionally qualified, very experienced, Full Charge Bookkeeper just like I am one heck of a Sexy Turkey Hat designer। I'm a crazy good waitress too। & right now that's the best thing.

So, about Tennessee। My skin didn't turn blue or silver। that's an upside! I no longer have a wandering tampon lodged up my hoo ha। Also an upside. We lost everything। the paintings. the knitting। the patterns। Our clothes। everything. everything।

And on the upside of things। my best friend from grade school, Robin,

and her husband and son, opened their home to me and my kitties - Corn Bread


and

Apple Jack.
When We left California, on that Greyhound bus with Our four suitcases full of crafts to sell। We had narrowed Our lives down to eight boxes of "I can't bear to part with this - it's the history of me" items। Proof I ever existed। Proof my life ever counted। We lost all of that। and that really sucks। Not just that it was lost। But the way in which it was lost। I have often said this, and it might make your skin crawl but I'll say it any way, if it's true that God is letting everyone in Heaven - I don't wanto go। There are some people with whom life on earth has been too much। He can let them in if he chooses but eternity is too much to ask of me. and yet, I am always the calm in my own storm। I know that I must look forward toward the open window ahead of me। and So I do। And bit by bit things fall into some semblance of place - wherever And however that may be.

And then it's ironic how things do come back in your life। And somehow, some way, they do find their way back। And the life And living goes on.

Do stop by for a Mile High Mud Pie the next time you're in town & say hello। Or

follow this blog, no doubt there will be more stories to share.

A Bumpy Little Ride...

Oh golly, gee whiz!? It's been a bumpy little ride of a summer here. Here? Where exactly? Well, that's the sixty-four-dollar question..........Homeless among friends in Dallas. Stay tuned & cross your fingers....possible job pending.